no i can't do it

Things aren't going well, at least for today.

Both my legs threaten to drown me in the middle of the pool today. I guess no one really cares anyway, but it's quite a scary experience. They just cramped up all together at a shot. I decided to give up after just 9 laps. That's really bad.

My friends from Montfort were supposed to meet up with me today. But they all overslept. So I only got out of the house at 7.30p.m. I wasted my afternoon waiting for them. And as far as I know, being alone at home waiting for something to happen, isn't the best for me now. My lappie died on me. I have only half the screen left. It really chose a very wrong time to die on me. I could really use a distraction right now. Gaming or work. And my brother is blasting Paramore next door. Nice. Going out with them didn't help much. Their topics in conversations are boring. It's all about future, work, money, investments. My life is really in a mess right now. I can't focus on what's right in front of me, and the last thing I need is really talking about the future. Sometimes I feel really alone. Because usually I am the one doing the talking, distracting people, trying to make people happy. I just wish, I get that treatment sometimes. They are nice friends, but I don't know, maybe I am asking for too much.