I was never wat u saw. I m merely an self created double. You had so much impact on my life, tat u changed mi so much, I m wat i m becoz of u todae.
Since small, you were like my next to kin. I looked up to you as a role model, model professional, coz everything in you is like so perfect. You were popular among other kids, and i wasnt. I was juz another quiet and inferior boy u passed. Yet i got to know you.
I wanted to be like you. You haf great fitness, does well in stuides, jokes well and gets popularity from other ppl. I wanted those things. Those things tat i couldnt haf it myself, things i couldnt haf achieved without you. You opened up a whole new world for me. Deep inside my heart, I told myself, I want to be like you.
Without you, I would haf never tok to any other stranger in my life. Without you, I may frown all the while I'm alive. Without you, I will not haf the successes that i enjoy now. Without you, I was nothing.
Subconscisouly, I m mouldin into another you, without realising what consequences it might bring. Till sec schoolin, I was very happy in my life. Coz I completely changed into another person, I was gettin the things I wanted. And with you as my buddy, what more can I ask for. I m realli indebted to you. I was realli glad I m growin up n developin into an average teen, unknowingly, another you.
All good things end. As time passes, I realised, no one is perfect. NO one. Including you. That was when I realised your bad points, which was something I resent and detest most. You don't give a damn about whoever walks into ur life, your friends, her, even ur family. I hate this fact. I dun wanna be like this. I cant. I love my friends and family more than anything else. I wun do this. I wun be like you.
I wun be you.
I tried to change you from that day onwards. Tellin you the importance and significance of friendships and kinship ties. You took it as nothing. I could sae no more. I realli wondered why. One day, you asked me, why do you fail as a leader. I didnt tell u, that u failed in realisin the importance of gainin respect through maintain good relations wif everyone. You treat people like dust. LET ME TELL U NOW. U realli failed.
I drifted away from you. Wanting a break from you, tryin to find back myself. But the degree of you infectin me was too much. I couldnt get back to myself.
Soon enuf, most aspect of me surpassed or reached the same as you. Maybe it was the good basis you gave me, such that I can improved so much. I became better in studies, playin sports well, successful in CCA life. Most importantly of all, I treated my friends with true concern. That was my principle.
You became jealous. I know. You started to take actions against me. Tryin to put down my pride and demoralising me. I was childish. Accumulated stress and your nonsense made me blew up. I hit you. I punched you. From that day onwards, I knew everything was over. And I said fine to myself, I will be fine.
I seldom tok to you since then. On our relationship deteoriated. I was foolish and immature enuf, not to get back at you during tat time. Now that in the present, it was impossible to do this. I wanted to tok to you, and get back together. We shared weals and woes together, for 7 YEARS.
I didnt believe it meant nothing to you, at first. I wanted to go find you, but i was scared. Till one dae, I tried to explain things to you and about my plans. Wat you said was a mere, "I'm fine with my life now, it's impossible to get back like before."
Ohh great. Looks like u didnt change at all. You still treat frienships like shit. Do you know I was haunted by this problem for the whole last year till now? I keep on feelin tat I m indebted to you, which I m, I m sorrie for what happened, and I should go back find you. These thoughts haunted my life. And what I got was pure rubbish from a heartless freak. However gay this might sound to you, I m tellin u, we are not. I m juz disappointed that many years of pure friendships can juz be broken in one blow. WTF. To think this still bothers me. Now and then, at times, I will think about this matter. And the more I think of it, the more depressed I get.
This is my story. Whatever you see now comes wif a background. Let me get this clear, I will never ever be like you. I won't. If I haf to oppose you to save someone, I will oppose you, and remember, is I WILL.
Now that this thing gets out my heart, hope that things will get better ba. I mean myself. Sumtimes I m still so alone, I cannot sense your presence. Maybe you aren't there anymore. Maybe.....
Since small, you were like my next to kin. I looked up to you as a role model, model professional, coz everything in you is like so perfect. You were popular among other kids, and i wasnt. I was juz another quiet and inferior boy u passed. Yet i got to know you.
I wanted to be like you. You haf great fitness, does well in stuides, jokes well and gets popularity from other ppl. I wanted those things. Those things tat i couldnt haf it myself, things i couldnt haf achieved without you. You opened up a whole new world for me. Deep inside my heart, I told myself, I want to be like you.
Without you, I would haf never tok to any other stranger in my life. Without you, I may frown all the while I'm alive. Without you, I will not haf the successes that i enjoy now. Without you, I was nothing.
Subconscisouly, I m mouldin into another you, without realising what consequences it might bring. Till sec schoolin, I was very happy in my life. Coz I completely changed into another person, I was gettin the things I wanted. And with you as my buddy, what more can I ask for. I m realli indebted to you. I was realli glad I m growin up n developin into an average teen, unknowingly, another you.
All good things end. As time passes, I realised, no one is perfect. NO one. Including you. That was when I realised your bad points, which was something I resent and detest most. You don't give a damn about whoever walks into ur life, your friends, her, even ur family. I hate this fact. I dun wanna be like this. I cant. I love my friends and family more than anything else. I wun do this. I wun be like you.
I wun be you.
I tried to change you from that day onwards. Tellin you the importance and significance of friendships and kinship ties. You took it as nothing. I could sae no more. I realli wondered why. One day, you asked me, why do you fail as a leader. I didnt tell u, that u failed in realisin the importance of gainin respect through maintain good relations wif everyone. You treat people like dust. LET ME TELL U NOW. U realli failed.
I drifted away from you. Wanting a break from you, tryin to find back myself. But the degree of you infectin me was too much. I couldnt get back to myself.
Soon enuf, most aspect of me surpassed or reached the same as you. Maybe it was the good basis you gave me, such that I can improved so much. I became better in studies, playin sports well, successful in CCA life. Most importantly of all, I treated my friends with true concern. That was my principle.
You became jealous. I know. You started to take actions against me. Tryin to put down my pride and demoralising me. I was childish. Accumulated stress and your nonsense made me blew up. I hit you. I punched you. From that day onwards, I knew everything was over. And I said fine to myself, I will be fine.
I seldom tok to you since then. On our relationship deteoriated. I was foolish and immature enuf, not to get back at you during tat time. Now that in the present, it was impossible to do this. I wanted to tok to you, and get back together. We shared weals and woes together, for 7 YEARS.
I didnt believe it meant nothing to you, at first. I wanted to go find you, but i was scared. Till one dae, I tried to explain things to you and about my plans. Wat you said was a mere, "I'm fine with my life now, it's impossible to get back like before."
Ohh great. Looks like u didnt change at all. You still treat frienships like shit. Do you know I was haunted by this problem for the whole last year till now? I keep on feelin tat I m indebted to you, which I m, I m sorrie for what happened, and I should go back find you. These thoughts haunted my life. And what I got was pure rubbish from a heartless freak. However gay this might sound to you, I m tellin u, we are not. I m juz disappointed that many years of pure friendships can juz be broken in one blow. WTF. To think this still bothers me. Now and then, at times, I will think about this matter. And the more I think of it, the more depressed I get.
This is my story. Whatever you see now comes wif a background. Let me get this clear, I will never ever be like you. I won't. If I haf to oppose you to save someone, I will oppose you, and remember, is I WILL.
Now that this thing gets out my heart, hope that things will get better ba. I mean myself. Sumtimes I m still so alone, I cannot sense your presence. Maybe you aren't there anymore. Maybe.....
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